This Floating Excrement Was Way Too Meaningful! It's the TV Disappointments of the Year.

Looking back, we consider the TV landscape of the recent year, a handful of series stand out not for their brilliance, but for their notable failures. From awkward spin-offs to bafflingly poor docuseries, here are the productions that had us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

Where to begin with this divisive spin-off? Plagued with woeful writing, cringe-inducing character development (justice for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the show fought to find its footing. Briefly, as the third season began, it looked like it had at last hit its stride. Then arrived an episode all about Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner announced this would be the final series. It concluded on a bum note; the closeup of Miranda’s loo full of poo was simply too symbolic. Yet, fans certainly found joy picking apart every single “wtf?” moment. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t release a small sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was almost the least of this drama's problems. The subject of a exceedingly uncommon zero star review, it was difficult to know where to start listing the flaws. The hilariously leaden dialogue? The mind-numbing glorification of wealth and materialism? The almost wilful parade of cliches? Performances so poor they felt borderline malicious? Let’s just say “all of the above” and forget about this show again. Except, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Considering the restraining orders, domestic violence claims and parental shortcomings, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not you’d really have gleaned it from this three-part documentary which smirked its way at Sheen’s various bouts of reckless excess while struggling to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this volatile personality was being pandered to, so any pity this show might induce should be reserved for the people who have had to suffer close contact with this charismatic but flippant narcissist.

The Iris Affair

Of course we knew it was preposterous from the outset: a drama about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or annihilate all of humanity. We persevered out of sheer love for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ultimately hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. That's what you call giving up the ghost.

The Gangster Drama

Shady characters convening in empty boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its gangland drama back.

Actually, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many look a little old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t suffer the embarrassment of having to accommodate unconvincing accents. But there were plenty of other issues. Primarily that it was just really boring; a conflict over drug-selling territory between various London picaresques which seemed a bit basic.

With Love, Meghan

Considering the extent to which she provokes the ire of certain ostentatiously angry commentators, it’s temptingly easy to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s televised ventures into twee homemaking as intentional provocations. But then you view them and are forced to concede that actually, they might have a point. It’s like watching a homeware catalogue come to life; a meme for wine o’clock with delusions of grandeur; a procession of sleeping dogs, buzzing beehives, Hallmark sayings and forgettable crafting “hacks” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by vast, mostly unearned wealth. Ugh.

Victoria Beckham

There are obviously interesting things to be said about regarding Victoria Beckham and her struggles with vocation, identity, self-acceptance. But for whatever reason, this documentary series chose not to explore them. Rather, the experience was akin to reading a sales brochure. She clearly has every right to resent what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But unfortunately, she failed to do herself any favours with this guarded letdown of a series.

The Inheritance

It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even more extravagant, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a well-known personality overseeing her estate. What more could you want? As players battled it out, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s still too complicated to explain what exactly was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The show ended up smelling of a programme that was straining desperately to emulate something way beyond it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How do you succeed a show that captured a generation? The pressure was enormous for this starry romantic comedy about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a broken heart. The lead actress seized the opportunity by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very glossy and, paradoxically, was not enough. Plus, the sheer amount of famous friends involved felt icky.

The Sketch Show Return

Not good enough to be ‘patchy’.

Given the shrewd inclusion of gifted younger comics, hopes were high. But sadly, most of it didn’t land. A recurring sketch was a one-note joke stretched to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar ranting mode. The writing room sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have remained in there a while longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an interesting drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The subject matter needed to be handled with care. Rather, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right voice, lurching from oddly jaunty, somewhat stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Twisted? Arguably. A total mess? Absolutely.

Prime Target

We love the star … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a breakthrough that could ruin society? No! This international thriller about government agencies spying on – and eliminating – intellectuals honestly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This hagiography followed the content creator renowned for sexual escapades as she undertook her biggest feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we craved was way more interrogation of her actual psychology, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the legendary mum who showed up to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific imagery and absolutely no critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.